[ He knew it would come as a shock, whoever was dead. But Tony... the man he'd thrown from a window, who reminded him of past-himself and shared his homes with them... that hurts. Loki's shame and guilt will never truly attain closure either, with this version who has died, and Tony would never grow. ]
[ It will now probably be obvious, how deeply Loki has numbed himself, because while his eyes go deeper and his jaw drops a bit about the news of Tony's death, he also looks very detached. Almost like he's watching it on television or something. ]
[ Then it gets worse. Evidently Hawkeye feels like unloading it all on him, even after all the shame and the meltdown knocking him to the floor. Fun times. ]
[ Steve. It takes his breath away. Steve and Bucky had been the first to accept him, the first to listen about the Mind Stone and the first to protect him from the others. If Loki hadn't been grieving as deeply as he is, it might occur to him that the death of a political figure (who was actually wearing a symbol and encouraged the idea of being synonymous with it) could have awful consequences. But for right now all he can think of is how he took Steve's form after Frigga's death, to mock the man's naivete and over-confidence. Admittedly, he'd also remembered exactly how he'd looked, because their first meeting in Stuttgart had reminded Loki so much of Frigga, as well. ]
[ What had happened to Bucky? Or to Sam? They couldn't-- the group couldn't be over. Loki wouldn't let them be over. Bucky must be driven half mad with all this. ]
[ Loki had already begun to regard Clint with actual alarm, after Steve's disappearance is mentioned. But nothing could have prepared him for hearing about Tasha. He leans backward, away from Hawkeye, like he can dodge the words themselves. ]
[ Hawkeye's partner. One of the guilt squad. One of the hardest to prove himself to, despite their similarities. The way they'd met had been appalling enough, verbally trouncing each other before Ego had taken over with much more pronounced and vicious threats. But Hawkeye. She was so close to Hawkeye and she hated Loki... ]
[ He opens his mouth to speak, but his throat won't let him. He forces the feelings down, even as the tears begin. It's like they're someone else's tears. He doesn't have to feel it. ] Thank you for telling me.
[ Is that why you disbanded? Loki thought, With your leader and the owner of your headquarters both dead? With your partner dead... This was far too much, far too fast, but Loki wasn't going to ask Clint to stop. Knowing was important. It might be important for any plans later, too. ]
And it's been eight years? [ There was something wrong with Loki's tone, enough that even he noticed it. He sounded so numb that the words had an oddly hollow ring to them. He couldn't help it anymore; it was too much. ]
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[ He knew it would come as a shock, whoever was dead. But Tony... the man he'd thrown from a window, who reminded him of past-himself and shared his homes with them... that hurts. Loki's shame and guilt will never truly attain closure either, with this version who has died, and Tony would never grow. ]
[ It will now probably be obvious, how deeply Loki has numbed himself, because while his eyes go deeper and his jaw drops a bit about the news of Tony's death, he also looks very detached. Almost like he's watching it on television or something. ]
[ Then it gets worse. Evidently Hawkeye feels like unloading it all on him, even after all the shame and the meltdown knocking him to the floor. Fun times. ]
[ Steve. It takes his breath away. Steve and Bucky had been the first to accept him, the first to listen about the Mind Stone and the first to protect him from the others. If Loki hadn't been grieving as deeply as he is, it might occur to him that the death of a political figure (who was actually wearing a symbol and encouraged the idea of being synonymous with it) could have awful consequences. But for right now all he can think of is how he took Steve's form after Frigga's death, to mock the man's naivete and over-confidence. Admittedly, he'd also remembered exactly how he'd looked, because their first meeting in Stuttgart had reminded Loki so much of Frigga, as well. ]
[ What had happened to Bucky? Or to Sam? They couldn't-- the group couldn't be over. Loki wouldn't let them be over. Bucky must be driven half mad with all this. ]
[ Loki had already begun to regard Clint with actual alarm, after Steve's disappearance is mentioned. But nothing could have prepared him for hearing about Tasha. He leans backward, away from Hawkeye, like he can dodge the words themselves. ]
[ Hawkeye's partner. One of the guilt squad. One of the hardest to prove himself to, despite their similarities. The way they'd met had been appalling enough, verbally trouncing each other before Ego had taken over with much more pronounced and vicious threats. But Hawkeye. She was so close to Hawkeye and she hated Loki... ]
[ He opens his mouth to speak, but his throat won't let him. He forces the feelings down, even as the tears begin. It's like they're someone else's tears. He doesn't have to feel it. ] Thank you for telling me.
[ Is that why you disbanded? Loki thought, With your leader and the owner of your headquarters both dead? With your partner dead... This was far too much, far too fast, but Loki wasn't going to ask Clint to stop. Knowing was important. It might be important for any plans later, too. ]
And it's been eight years? [ There was something wrong with Loki's tone, enough that even he noticed it. He sounded so numb that the words had an oddly hollow ring to them. He couldn't help it anymore; it was too much. ]