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insertusername ([personal profile] insertusername) wrote in [community profile] toplvl2022-09-17 11:48 am
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unpopular opinions


unpopular opinions

Do you think people are too sensitive? Or that Superman isn't so super? Think cats aren't cute? The Beatles are overrated? Love pineapple on pizza? Maybe you just don't like chips rly. Even the best of us have some controversial opinions. Let people know what a monster you are.

top level

with your characters’ unpopular and/or controversial opinion. Or share few of them at once. In person or via text. Prepare for disagreement.

comment

to tell them why they're wrong, validate a kindred spirit, or just troll them for caring about such a silly-ass thing in the first place.

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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-08 10:15 am (UTC)(link)
So you just left everyone else to deal with Thanos and all the god damn space rocks. [And if Loki doesn't like the way he snaps that, annoyed, then too fucking bad.] Really damned convenient that you could just leave the whole of your reality to go barge into someone else's because you're terrified of the consequences.

You think I wanted to keep living in a reality where someone with a shiny stone could just swoop in and take me over, puppet me around, use me against people I care about? At least being caught out by dear old dad lands you in a cozy dungeon instead of anything Thanos could conjure up for you.

[It's not really fair, maybe. Not the same level of comparison. Loki had to deal with Thanos and his cronies directly. Clint had only ever been just a pawn in a much bigger game. Loki knew a lot better what an annoyed and determined Thanos could do.

Never came to pass in his own universe, the way Loki feared, that he knows of. But different timelines. Could mean different reactions. Different paths.]


You planning on running forever?

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-08 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)


[Loki eye-rolls so hard at Clint's first accusation that his head actually tilts back with the annoyance. It gets even more insulting from there, though, and Loki's mouth thins into an indignant scowl.]

[Knowing full well that phrases like keep living might have multiple meanings, Loki does pay close attention to Clint and his words, upon hearing them. Annoyance aside, Loki truly doesn't mean the archer any harm, and hopes he hadn't caused...]



[Okay, dear old dad was too much. It rankles with Loki because seriously, this was beginning to feel like torture and he didn't see a good reason for it.]


And how do you think that would go? [Loki's tone is haggard and sharp, but the undertones ring with bitterness and... sadness? Regret?]

[As he continues, it turns into a quiet little rant.]
I'm supposed to go back to Asgard and say... what? "Put me in a dungeon? While I stand here allowing you do do so, under some assumption I won't just be possessed again and used to destroy everything?"

What am I supposed to do? On the off-chance they do manage to get me to a dungeon, I can still be a threat from there!



So let's say they manage to seidr-cuff me and throw me in a dungeon and keep me from telling anyone anything, mentally or physically. Which, honestly, if they found me that much of a threat would imply they felt the need to look into my mind to protect others, which would tell them about Thanos, break my deals with him, and send him after them.

What would it fix? Me in my cell? What would it risk, to even hope to get that far? And what could I do, to save them, when the inevitable happened?
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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-09 04:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Which inevitable are we talking about here? Thanos snapping half the universe out of existence, you dying, or your planet being doomed? I guess we'll never know, because in a different timeline, maybe none of those things would've even happened!

[It's unfair. It's so fucking unfair that Loki got to get away from everything he was afraid of. Clint huffs a few deep breaths through his nose before calming down some.]

Okay. [Hands up. Backing down.] You're a fixer now. You fix things. You get buddy-buddy with some version of Avengers and save the world as everyone knows it. And then what? What do you do now? What do you do next? Stay there until something else scares you off? Find another gang of Avengers to befriend and keep together like super glue?

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-09 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)


[It is mind-boggling to Loki that Clint is asking Which inevitable? under the circumstances, as though he didn't realize that Thanos' threats against Loki's family would be the payment. But then Clint is shouting. Actually shouting at him. In what feels like betrayal. He watches as the archer tries to compose himself, clearly still snappish and... upset? Hurt? Frazzled?]

[Alright. Somehow Loki had to be the adult here. He had to be the first to stop shouting, because neither of them was apparently ready for this. Controlling his own breathing, it occurs to Loki that Clint is in fact, Natasha's partner, and that she might have taught him how to interrogate people. Though Loki's going to work from the assumption here, that Clint honestly feels the things he's showing, because there isn't enough reason to question it. Yet.]
Why. Are you. So angry?

If I go back there. If I return to the place I fled and Thanos and the stone can take me, then either they will use me to kill Thor, or they'll do it on their own. They will make me regret it.

And what does it matter if I run? What does it matter who I care about? There isn't anything I can do. Not against their whole Order.

I'm not just going to get scared away from any timeline. As far as I'm aware, I can't get possessed in any timeline but my own.
[He really, really hoped it worked that way. That possession by one gem didn't mean the ability of any version of that gem to possess any version of himself. That would be terrifying.]
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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-09 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not angry. [Then what is it? What is it if not anger that Loki gets to run away from the mere potential, the possibility, the idea that he might hurt people he cares for, and tough fucking shit for everyone else? Or is it the idea of running from the people he cares about, supposedly? Leaving them to fend for themselves. Never knowing what happened to the Loki they knew.

He still doesn't think it's anger, not that far. Frustration, annoyance. And since he's the one that recognized said annoyance and backed down, he doesn't see why Loki should call him out on anger.

It's the last bit, however, that catches his attention. A slight tilt of the head not unlike a bird.]


Only the Stones from your own timeline affect you? Not ones from other universes? Are you sure about that?

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-09 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)


[That Hawkeye denies he's angry, after shouting at him, gives Loki a moment of bitter self-pity. He gives Clint a hurt scowl, but doesn't verbalize anything, glaring at the floor.]

[The first question hits him with an eerie little chill. His eyes slide slowly back up to the archer, the tension beginning to build behind his gaze as the questions keep coming.]



[He didn't know. He didn't know and...]
They said... the stones had been reclaimed, but... I honestly have no idea what happened to them.

[Loki gives the impression that it's a real nightmare to even think about this.] They wouldn't say... who had even reclaimed them.

[He's shaking at the thought, all his memories of Sanctuary coming back to the fore.] I... I-I'm not s-sure, no.

I was... going off the... as-s-sumption that... th-that they're similar to seidr, just... condensed? So... in the same way as a spell caster or a relic... can... r-restart or r-remove their spell, that the stones are the origin of the magic, once... i-it is released? But if their spell was the same as other-them's spell... I-I-I-I d-don't know how... similar... it w-would have to be.
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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-10 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Ah. Ah, this is one of those topics. This is something that gives Loki the shakes, the kind of thing he'll have nightmares about for--well, for the rest of existence, probably.

He refuses to acknowledge that he feels a little bad. It's Loki. It's...fine. It's fine.]


Okay. So it's kind of an unknown, then. You're just hoping they're safely out of the picture, and nobody's planning on using them. [Clint really doesn't know shit for shit about magic, but the idea of someone reclaiming them as though they belonged somewhere or with someone in particular is...yeah, actually, that's pretty alarming.] Sorry to poke at it. I'd never heard anything like that before, but hey, multiple timelines are still kind of new to me.

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-10 12:31 am (UTC)(link)


[Loki nods hurriedly about it being an unknown, staring at the floor. He's trying to reconsider at the same time as repressing and paying attention to Clint. All his muscles are bunched and on edge, like a python cornered and ready to strike. Not so much striking out towards Clint so much as the universe. At fate or the stone.]

I have to know, [he vented, worry lining his tone.] I have to know and they're not going to want to tell me but... I-I have to know. It can't happen again.

Thank you. For pointing that out.
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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-10 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
If you're actually friends with them, part of the team, [he ventures carefully] why wouldn't they tell you? Do they just want to reduce the risk of the wrong people finding out and seeking them out?
under_illusions: (Facepalm)

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-10 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, here goes a difficult topic when he's compromised as hell.] Not all of them trust me as much as other ones. They accept I want them to b-be alive and unharmed. Some of them still hate me. Some of them... I-I don't know how to describe it. They're giving me a chance and I... d-don't know if they have expectations as to what I'll do with it.

I-I-I don't think they trust me about the stones, for a number of reasons. I was brainwashed. And under duress. And traumatized by... a-all the possession I-I already mentioned. There was so much control. Too much for them to risk telling me, I'm gathering. Thanos' control over me, and... an-and my a-a-attacks on the other Midgard they heard about.

[Loki gulps and continues,] That's a part of why... Bucky and Steve trusted me, first. Before the others. The ones that are angry at other-me... I-I'm not sure I'll ever be able to prove anything to them, but trusting me with some things... even trusting me with their lives and with joining them... it... i-isn't the same thing as... trusting me with information... like that.

Honestly, if it was just a year after knowing someone like that, I-- can't say I'd trust someone with something that deeply connected to our fight with one another, either. I feel like we've come a long way. They know I'm not their enemy. Most of them see me as their ally, or at very least as a compromise. But me... calling them my friends... th-that doesn't mean they'd call me their friend if-- i-if that makes sense.

Some of them would probably laugh, were I to be struck in the face. Maybe it's guilt or... seeing myself in them, when they don't see themselves in me. But I-- care about them, when some of them would rather not care about me. But regardless... they don't-- t-tell me everything.

[It was so difficult, after flashbacks of Sanctuary, to admit that he cared about people who didn't care for him. The shame was bad enough, but with SENTIMENT screaming so badly in him with the admittance, he felt like he was inviting harm to them, just admitting that he gave a damn.]
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[personal profile] brandingproblem 2022-10-10 10:38 am (UTC)(link)
They don't have to like you to make you part of the team. Sounds like no matter what, you're an Avenger.

[As absolutely batshit as a statement like that sounds. He can't hold a grudge for that. It's awkward the way Clint raises his hand and hesitates, not entirely sure if he's going to do what he's going to do, and then rests it on Loki's shoulder. Not grabbing him. Just there. Olive branch.]

I hope some of them start to see you as a friend. Because it sounds like you could really use a couple right about now.

[personal profile] under_illusions 2022-10-11 03:53 am (UTC)(link)


[Clint's first statement earns a slow and tentative smile from Loki. He's not really used to being accepted. Not anymore at any rate. But he was an Avenger, though it still sounds odd to him as well. He belongs somehow, with his little group of friends with massively shorter lifespans.]

[It's scary to think of them dying in other timelines. To think of the group going on without them. The holes they left in their friends' lives and in their societies... Oh. Oh no. Widow's memory, of the three listed, is practically the only one that won't have disastrous affects in their wake. The other two were so blind, so caught up in defining themselves by fitting the molds of others' measures and with power... That there has to be a power vacuum left behind them. Neither would have wanted that.]

[Closing his eyes as his heart sinks for them, Loki has to acknowledge that this isn't something he can heal, either. Their Midgard would have to learn from experience, and his own involvement would be unwanted and couldn't possibly be enough. He wanted to help, but he had his Avengers, as Hawkeye called them before, hm? His friends weren't dead or sent back through time. Maybe they could use a reminder or twenty, that they were fallible individuals with legacies that were going to last after them, though. He was going to last after them, too, unless his own longer lifespan was cut short. Even still, he'd give them what he could.]

[It bothers him that Hawkeye thought he'd abandoned his own timeline. Abandoned Thor. After all the arguing and pleading and raging they'd done at each other before he'd just... disappeared. Clint's right that it can't have felt pleasant and must have been worrying. But just like he'd once forced himself to break Thor's heart to save his brother's life... Loki really doesn't feel regret about choosing to abandon him to save him, either. He hurts for Thor, and of course Loki regrets that it came to such a decision, but he's made his choice. Given a better choice, he'd take it in an instant. Regret and guilt... they're different.]



[Unprepared for the hand resting on his shoulder, Loki stills and carefully studies his own hands. Somehow, this is happening. No version of Clint has ever shown him physical affection before, and Loki is shocked by the depth of his needs to be accepted and understood. He feels of all things, like clinging to Hawkeye of all people. He feels like begging (begging!) the archer to forgive him for deeds that were mostly done by another person entirely. And that other person had been in his own timeline, not Clint's! Nothing makes any sense. Hawkeye with his hand on Loki's shoulder doesn't make any sense, either, but Loki doesn't dare to move because he's afraid Clint will move away. The words Clint chooses, on top of the physical affection, cause Loki to look back towards him, frozen with indecision.]

[It stuns him to realize he'd given up on having friendships. He's not sure when that happened.]
Thank you.

[He's sure he's supposed to have words here. Some... way of showing Hawkeye that Loki was in fact perfectly fine and really grateful for the encouragement. Instead of... being paralyzed by the thought that another person actually cared. Which sounds pathetic, even to him. Hawkeye. Hawkeye, of all people cared. Like an impossible dream come true. Closure, in a way Loki hadn't allowed himself to hope for. And damn his pride because he couldn't make himself reach for that hand or attempt physical affection of his own.]