[It's not quite incredulous, his echoing one, and not quite mocking. The words just...sit there. Heavy. They feel so very heavy, and his shoulders are so tired.
He knows he has worth to others. To Nat, who gave herself up for the sake of a world, sure, a universe--but for him most of all. To Laura, beloved and adored and trusted above all else. To the kids, to whom he played the devoted dad trying to make up for lost time. To the team, when there was still a team, and how he proved with every mission that he belonged among them. To Kate, who proved to him that there are people out there he can inspire even if he avoids the spotlight.
He tries every day to actually be worth the care others have for him. Some days are better than others. It's a work in progress that may never be finished. But he can try.
To Loki, though. A debt is one thing. A debt makes sense. It's transactional. It's 'I wronged you, I must now make it up to you', and it doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. That Loki ascribes meaning, that there is an emotional aspect. That Clint means something more--much more, in fact, than he realizes.
Is a twist. Like a knife. He keeps Loki at his back, a dangerous enough thing to do even without this fraught topic.]
no subject
[It's not quite incredulous, his echoing one, and not quite mocking. The words just...sit there. Heavy. They feel so very heavy, and his shoulders are so tired.
He knows he has worth to others. To Nat, who gave herself up for the sake of a world, sure, a universe--but for him most of all. To Laura, beloved and adored and trusted above all else. To the kids, to whom he played the devoted dad trying to make up for lost time. To the team, when there was still a team, and how he proved with every mission that he belonged among them. To Kate, who proved to him that there are people out there he can inspire even if he avoids the spotlight.
He tries every day to actually be worth the care others have for him. Some days are better than others. It's a work in progress that may never be finished. But he can try.
To Loki, though. A debt is one thing. A debt makes sense. It's transactional. It's 'I wronged you, I must now make it up to you', and it doesn't have to be any more complicated than that. That Loki ascribes meaning, that there is an emotional aspect. That Clint means something more--much more, in fact, than he realizes.
Is a twist. Like a knife. He keeps Loki at his back, a dangerous enough thing to do even without this fraught topic.]
Why?