[That Loki has managed to unnerve Hawkeye once again, leaves him feeling small, ineffective and shameful. He tries to pay attention to what's being described to him. There were several names on that list, that Loki had never heard before. Maybe he hadn't been with the group for long enough to meet them. Nearly half of them? He does clearly remember when there were only six; he'd fought them. Researched them, as he'd said.]
[Everything starting from for you to try to sidle up to is infinitely enraging and Loki chalks it up to Clint being insulting again, in much the same way as the one Loki usually worked with. After this conversation, he could now understand a lot more about why. Also Loki tried to keep in mind that the insulting phrasing may have to do with defensiveness of the people in his own timeline. Not wanting Loki's interference. But they had to exist. It couldn't be over. They'd been too successful, too dear to everyone to just... fall apart.]
[Loki is hyperaware of the delicacy of his role in this situation. There were only so many things he could ask after or attempt. But they had to be rebuilt. It couldn't be over. He wouldn't let it be over. There is a short pause while Loki attempts to compose himself enough to respond to all of it. Anger... was not... helpful. No matter how insulting that last barrage of sentences had been.] As dearly as I love my brother. And relieved as I am, to hear he yet lives...
That group... was necessary for your realm's survival. I haven't met half of those people. I don't... [How was this even such an appalling thought to him, when he was numbed? It's like it was just wrong on some sort of basic, intellectually visceral level.] have the right to return there if I'm not wanted. But they have to exist.
That more deaths happened... is awful enough. They cannot disband. [And he'd just stressed that. Growled it out as forcefully as he had. To Hawkeye of all people. And that's when the panic attack starts.]
I can't-- I-I-I-I-I can't-- I can't-- I can't-- Can't-- I-I-I-I-I...
[You look like a mess, Clint had said. This can't really be helping that. By this point, his visage is almost as awful as he'd looked after stepping through the portal. He turns away, to hide this reaction from Clint, then abruptly sits on the ground, curling one leg up toward himself while panting.]
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[That Loki has managed to unnerve Hawkeye once again, leaves him feeling small, ineffective and shameful. He tries to pay attention to what's being described to him.
There were several names on that list, that Loki had never heard before. Maybe he hadn't been with the group for long enough to meet them. Nearly half of them? He does clearly remember when there were only six; he'd fought them. Researched them, as he'd said.]
[Everything starting from for you to try to sidle up to is infinitely enraging and Loki chalks it up to Clint being insulting again, in much the same way as the one Loki usually worked with. After this conversation, he could now understand a lot more about why. Also Loki tried to keep in mind that the insulting phrasing may have to do with defensiveness of the people in his own timeline. Not wanting Loki's interference. But they had to exist. It couldn't be over. They'd been too successful, too dear to everyone to just... fall apart.]
[Loki is hyperaware of the delicacy of his role in this situation. There were only so many things he could ask after or attempt. But they had to be rebuilt. It couldn't be over. He wouldn't let it be over. There is a short pause while Loki attempts to compose himself enough to respond to all of it. Anger... was not... helpful. No matter how insulting that last barrage of sentences had been.] As dearly as I love my brother. And relieved as I am, to hear he yet lives...
That group... was necessary for your realm's survival. I haven't met half of those people. I don't... [How was this even such an appalling thought to him, when he was numbed? It's like it was just wrong on some sort of basic, intellectually visceral level.] have the right to return there if I'm not wanted. But they have to exist.
That more deaths happened... is awful enough. They cannot disband. [And he'd just stressed that. Growled it out as forcefully as he had. To Hawkeye of all people. And that's when the panic attack starts.]
I can't-- I-I-I-I-I can't-- I can't-- I can't-- Can't-- I-I-I-I-I...
[You look like a mess, Clint had said. This can't really be helping that. By this point, his visage is almost as awful as he'd looked after stepping through the portal. He turns away, to hide this reaction from Clint, then abruptly sits on the ground, curling one leg up toward himself while panting.]