toplvl | unpopular opinions

[ That tugged at Thomas' heart enough to bring tears to his eyes. He remembered acting this way, in every romance he'd ever had. With each of his friends (especially with Enola) and then again with Edith, when he'd finally discovered what romantic love could really be. He'd been so clingy. So needy for them to be his world and rescue. Edith had just been this bright sunlight that lit up his world and blinded him to any possibilities of failure. She'd just been so strong, so capable and driven. ]

[ But she was a person too, and not his perfect savior. He was the weaker of them, but that didn't make her strength or understanding endless. He'd had to learn that the hard way. And given how this friendship was forming, Thomas wondered whether Swede could ever learn the same lesson about him. ]

[ He could try to save Swede. Embroil himself in the dangerous affairs of others, to try to alleviate the pain of a fellow victim. But that didn't make him Swede's savior in everything. Edith couldn't fill that role and neither could he. But they had to start somewhere. The first rays of sunlight after so long, were going to be blinding. But Thomas was determined to help Swede's eyes adjust. He squeezes the other man's hand back, even though it was probably dirtier than Thomas was fully prepared to think about. ]

[ The former baronet is considering how to answer Swede's question about other worlds, when the next question is asked atop it. The answer to that is both easier and more important, so Thomas agrees, ] You can.

[ The Swede is very very grubby, even by pirate standards, he is terrified of the tub and probably won't 'wash' unless someone throws a bucket of sea water over his head. His very calloused hand is trembling. ]

M... my crewmates... almost ate me... w... when we were on the island... I was sleeping... and they tried to club me on the head and eat me and- and... I was so scared but nobody talked about it anymore... I am afraid... they eat me again? [ Clearly this is both scary and a little too complicated to talk about but what'd basically happened, they were marooned and some of his crewmates jumped him because his surprisingly shapely rump and thigh looked so tempting to the hungry pirates. Luckily, the Captain returned just in time but it took away some of Swede's blind trust in his crewmates. ]

I am so afraid... but nobody thinks... that it was bad that I was almost eaten? Nobody cares when a scary thing happen to me... I don't care either... but... still I am afraid... [ Oh, he really starts to cry now, maybe realizing how terrifying that was. ]

[ After all the horror he's seen, there is not a lot that can get Thomas' eyes to widen. But while he has frequently washed in gore and stepped in it, cannibalism was actually something he'd never been privy to. ]

...Come here, [ He entreats quietly, trying to hug the smelly pirate. Thomas was definitely going to have to clean off later. But no one deserved this. No one, and Thomas couldn't let Swede think himself unloved. ]

[ Just as quietly, he explains, ] I would like to take you to a place where there is no bounty on you. Where your singing can be appreciated, and you can have more... opportunities than you are given, here.

[ The Swede had never been hugged before and he instantly stops sobbing, sniffling softly instead and gaping dumbly at him. He never thought such a handsome, fancy man would ever give him a hug! He goes nice and quiet from it, instantly soothed a little. ]

Oh... I would like that... I love to sing... [ He is so trusting that he'll go anywhere with a complete stranger, he probably only managed to live this long because he's a funny looking thing. If he had nicer teeth and smelled better he would've ended up in someone's basement. ] I am happy you are my friend... but... I don't think... I can leave? The Captain will allow leaving?

[ Happy that his hug seems to be alleviating the Swede's traumatic memories a little, Thomas continues holding him. If he'd been a little less grubby, the former baronet might have patted or gripped him reassuringly, but as it was, at least holding him seemed to make him happier. ]

[ Difficult questions, these. Thomas still remembers how badly his brainwashing had caused him to 'want to' return to Crimson Peak, after he'd found himself alive again. It had been months before he'd realized the illogical nature of it, and nearly a year before he'd fully grasped why. ]

[ It would be easier to lie, here. To claim that the captain had allowed it. But that would feel unfair to poor Swede, and also might backfire if he was asked to meet said captain, or other similar questions. Thomas still didn't have anywhere the man could stay, either, or a career for him other than to sing on street corners. The hope was foolish and fragile. But it sounded like the straits he was in were dire -- grotesque, even, -- and Thomas still felt that such options were a step up from cannibalism, piracy and bounties. ]

[ It wouldn't hurt, to test his ground, here. It was possible that the Swede was brainwashed or had some other mental ailment that caused him to listen to this Captain Bonnet. ] If the captain would have let them eat you, and then signed you onto Blackbeard's crew... you still trust the captain???

[ He made the query sound like a natural enough surprised conversational detour, kicking himself for how easy the manipulation was. Thomas was trying to help, but poor Swede, whatever the answer. He'd had enough of controlling people, and Thomas hated to do this, even in an attempt to save him. ]

[ The sad thing is, even after they were marooned they were loyal to these people. It's not so much brainwashing as them being lower-class men, products of their time and being systematically abused by the 'pirate' system.

In the Swede's case, he is just very simple-minded, he'd pretty much accept anything, but even more outspoken, intelligent crewmembers don't really seem to value their own lives.

A pirate's life is short and that is generally accepted by all. Taking this little guy somewhere else will definitely spare him either a death by cannibalism or otherwise a more 'regular' pirate death, dying from gunfire, canonfire, drowning and getting hanged or shot by the British navy. It is only one pirate out of so many but this one is a real sweetheart who could probably adjust to life on land fairly easily. He's very timid and just wants to make friends and have something to eat... but right now he just seems to want his hug. He refuses to pull away yet. ]

Ja... I don't think... the Captain had much choice... [ The Captain is very new to piracy so he made a lot of mistakes, which led to the Swede's scurvy and a bunch of other things happening, he got tangled up with these more dangerous pirates. It's this entire situation one person can't fix but helping the Swede will at least save one especially neglected, bullied pirate. ]

...but I want to come with you... because I am afraid I get eaten?

[If Swede wasn't pulling away, Thomas wasn't either, OCD be damned. If it had to be one or the other of them internally screaming, he'd rather have it be himself. Evidently they were both quite used to it.]

That's a good reason to avoid them, [Thomas encourages. Somehow he was afraid of getting attacked, just talking about them. A day wasn't a weekend, but there was no point in loitering around here carelessly.]

[ The Swede could just fall asleep against Thomas, likely he feels just as safe as he does inside his barrel. But they should leave because while half the crew is quite endearing, the other half will see this as Swede trying to run away and when you're a pirate you can't really retire. ]

I... I may hold your hand, so I do not get lost? [ He blushes, fidgeting with his hair again. ] I am nervous...

You may, yes, [Thomas agrees, trying to smile. It's a relief to be able to stop hugging the smelly pirate, so that they can hold hands again. He's making mental notes to teach Swede that washing was good for him, although Thomas is well aware that there were many time periods in which people found washing oneself to be quite frightening.]

[Speaking of time periods, Thomas likes to avoid his own, as well. He's going to take a guess that this man is from a time before his, but his own time was also well before many people in the nexus were accustomed to.]

[Still holding hands, Thomas tries to lead Swede into the rest of the nexus. He has no idea what they'll find there. Different times, species, and everything else had been a shock to him, at one time, too. But basics first. Swede needed to be clean and he needed to grow accustomed to dealing with living in a future time. And the singing. Maybe with enough money, Swede could get a roof over his head somewhere. It certainly seemed to calm him and boost his confidence, when he sang, so he'd need the opportunity to do that as often as he'd like.]

[Mostly, Thomas himself had been washing off in nexus fountains, while fully clothed, when no one was looking. He had a couple of jobs that he was looking into, and a bit of money saved from his last job, to continue eating, at least.]

[He awaited Swede's reaction. The Nexus was an odd place, but Thomas hoped this venture would be worth it. Now that they were here, Thomas' top hat was no longer expected, so he removed it. The thing might still come in handy if Swede wanted to collect coin in it, though.]

[ To a very dim-witted pirate from around 1680-1718, which was the time Blackbeard was active, modern life will be very scary and confusing but because the Swede is so simple, he is more accepting than most of his time period contemporaries would be... still, he holds onto Thomas' hand tightly and looks around, wide-eyed. ]

...oh... what happened? [ By more modern standards, he is absolutely filthy. He is scared of water but a gentle wash cloth and a sink may be less scary than a tub to him... his clothes need a washing as well or, honestly, to be replaced entirely. ]

I... I am confused... we are in a different place now? We are in a different street? [ He peers shyly up at Thomas, still being fairly brave. If he were alone he'd just be crying. Singing is the last thing on his mind now! He is completely overwhelmed. ]

We are, [ Thomas tries to explain. ]

This is a place... where people travel to times and worlds that are not their own. And that may seem very magical to you. It certainly did to me, when I first came here.

But that bounty that was on you... it won't apply in most places, here. You can still go back... to whatever time you can reach from here, including your own. But I'd advise staying in much later time periods, for the most part. Some time when things have quieted down, and are more comfortable for everyone.

[ He almost continues, into telling Swede about how he'd had to live in a tent in this place. About how they could put his hat down, and perhaps the Swede could sing and be paid enough for another meal and maybe some clothing. But he had to take it slowly, with this man. Admittedly, he'd been overwhelmed the first time, too. ]

[ But this was not just a man who was illiterate or stunted; he'd offered Thomas a half chewed potato and couldn't remember his own name. That didn't mean that Thomas would avoid trying to give the other man any schooling he could; Thomas himself had spent a few awkward years in boarding school, and knew math, chemistry and a few craftsmanship careers quite well. Though he'd never allow Swede near most woodworking equipment. ]

[ The social norms too, had changed. The Swede, as Thomas once had, would need to learn what might be expected of him now. All human growth came with learning. ]

Oh... I... I don't understand... but... I am happy I don't have a bounty anymore.

[ By modern day standards Swede would be considered to be mentally stunted, he obviously never had schooling and he is very childlike, he can sing but other than that his brain gets no use at all... it's definitely odd. But despite the general hopelessness of this pirate, he is more grateful than he'll ever understand to be given these chances. He would probably love to sing in the streets and be paid for that... if... if he weren't so painfully shy.

He has a natural feel for opera, it's unlikely he understands the actual lyrics. He heard people sing it and copied the song, is probably what happened. Thomas shouldn't expect miracles from him but for a pirate, he is well-behaved... or quiet, at least. He's not rowdy and just sweetly shuffles after him, holding his hand tightly. ]

Where are we going?

[ Thinking it over, Thomas decided to let Swede decide. Thank goodness that he hadn't needed to lie to save the poor ex-pirate. The lack of other pirates was also a relief. ]

Well, you could choose to sing here, and I could lay my hat down, for people to pay you. Or you could come with me to buy a tent, like the one I live out of, and a bedroll? Or we could go to my tent, pick up some towels there, and go wash at the fountain.

[ A tent cost more than Thomas really wanted to spend, but they were not sharing a tent together. Hopefully, Swede could make enough, with his singing, to buy his next meal for himself, but Thomas was also willing to share, there, as well. He supposed he'd acquired a companion, oddly. At least for the next little while. He missed the woman who'd initially rescued him, when he'd found himself alive again. Remembering how afraid he'd once been, and feeling the Swede's stronger grip on his hand, Thomas squeezed a bit in sympathy and solidarity. ]

I... I can't sleep in my barrel anymore? [ That'll be hard for him, Swede is very attached to his barrel, he rocks himself to sleep in it and hides in it... so no barrel will take some adjustment. He sniffs. The pirates all sleep together on deck, sleeping alone in a tent will be scary for him. He doesn't realize he is expected to sleep in his own tent yet. In his mind, Mr. Thomas is the new barrel! ]

I... I want to sing... and then we can make coins and I can sleep in the tent with you... and I will try- try to sing good and not be shy... then we- we can get food. [ He smiles shyly up at him, hoping he said all the right things. Swede definitely needs a bath first if he is expected to make any coin. He is being pretty brave about it all, probably because he has no idea what happened. ]

You want to sleep... in the tent... with me. [ Oh nonononono, Thomas did have some limits and boundaries! ] Well I was hoping that you could have your own tent, right next to mine.

And if you'd rather sleep in a barrel, maybe we can afford one of those eventually, too.

[ Please don't make him sleep with a smelly pirate? Even if they managed to somehow get Swede clean, there was drool to think about, and awful memories and nightmares. Swede was larger than Edith, too, which would make Thomas more likely to have nightmares of Lucille. ]

[ He does continue walking towards his tent as they speak, hoping to retrieve the towels to have an easier time of all this. ]

Oh ja... but... I will be afraid... I would much rather sleep in a barrel, please. [ He does drool! But mistaking him for Lucille will be difficult, unless Lucille had surprisingly muscular arms for a Victorian lady. But... but there's no helping he's not very nice to sleep next to, he always rocks himself to sleep, like a baby, so there's constant movement.

He shuffles after him, smiling happily... it is nice that someone tells him what to do, he really is very lost here. ] Are you the new Captain?

There's nothing to be afraid of, [Thomas consoled.] You can talk to me, if our tents are side by side. I'll be right there. In the next tent over.

[Was he... the new captain? He'd love to just say no, and be done with it. He was done being above or below anyone else. But Swede wasn't really prepared for survival, in this place or any other. Well, might as well explain.] You're your own captain, now. Though while you're getting used to this place, I'd suggest staying near me. It's just a suggestion. You'll know what you're doing, soon enough.

[The old brainwashing mantra came back to him now, at the worst of times. Always together, never apart. Thomas' throat closed with fear that he swallowed down, again searching through his pockets.]

[ Poor Swede looks mortified to be told he'd now be in charge of his own life, he's been on pirate ships since he was young and can't even imagine not blindly following his Captain and crewmates' leads. Obviously this is a lot for Swede because he instantly grabs for Thomas' hand again. He'll definitely need a bath himself after all this but hopefully it's more endearing than disgusting to Thomas. Either way it can't be helped, he's very scared. ]

I... I never know... what I am doing? [ His bottom lip quivers. ] I may stay with you, please? I... I am not... naughty like other pirates... I sit and I am quiet... [ He starts to tear up at the idea of having to be alone. ] Please... please? I will wash... I will take a bath and- and try to make coins to buy a clean shirt... I will even cut my hairs. [ It must be serious, he is so attached to his hair and always twirling it. ]

[The Swede's panic is concerning, and Thomas stops once more, to try to hug him again. His sweater was getting so dirty.] Hush. No one's naughty and you don't need to cut your hair. It's all right now.

[ The sweater is now smudged, covered in sand and dirt and smells a little bit like fish because of the fish barrel he always sleeps in. But the hug instantly calms him down, as he looks at him with his vacant blue eyes. ]

I... I do not have to leave? [ He doesn't understand manipulation, though some of his actions come off manipulative, he's genuinely terrified to be alone. ]

[Heartened that the Swede's panic seems to decrease while embraced, Thomas tries to understand Swede's confusion.] You don't have to leave. Washing would certainly make you more money, were you to sing for coin afterward.

I don't understand... why you thought I was asking you to leave? Have you... just always had a captain?

[ He sniffs. ] Ja... when my Mama died I went to work on fishing boats, in Sweden. [ He'd had a Captain and usually, an entire crew that bossed him around since he was about twelve or so. The idea of being alone is so scary, it is no wonder he latches onto Thomas so much. As long as he is cuddled, it is okej though... he feels safe. No one ever embraced him before but now it is his favorite thing. ]

S... sorry... I get so confused... by things. I will try washing up. [ He looks down and smiles shyly, twirling his hair. Hopefully Thomas understands how hard everything is for him. He really barely knows where he is. ]

[Ah, more unwanted memories at the worst times. Thomas stares at the floor while continuing to hug the Swede. He can still see Beatrice's corpse in his mind, and he tries to focus on the Swede's words, wondering if the Swede's mother was someone he missed dearly or... more like Beatrice... or someone he had more complicated feelings for than either extreme.]

[For someone who cares so deeply about others, it may seem odd to Swede that Thomas doesn't attempt to console him about the loss of his mother, or even ask about her. Thomas himself is just so lost in thought that he isn't sure how to respond until the Swede has already continued.]

That sounds like a good idea, [Thomas encouraged in warm tones, pleased that Swede was back to smiling. His sweater was never going to feel clean again, but this was worth it.]

[ The Swede's Mama was just a simple woman, too busy with too many children to really be a good or loving mother but they all got fed and she didn't hit them, but his upbringing wasn't much of one. No time for education. He was always the one clinging to her skirts and then he was suddenly on his own. Despite Thomas not comforting him, it is probably nice for Swede that someone listens to his little stories. ]

C... can you please help me... I don't know how, on the ship, my crewmates just sometimes put a bucket of water on me. Do you have a bucket? [ He is definitely smiling his toothy smile at him now, it is a relief he is not send away. Maybe his presence can be a little soothing to Thomas, Swede would never do anything to hurt anyone or do anything bad on purpose. He is a sweetheart, though a smelly one. ]

I have a glass vase, yes, that I use for washing and decoration. I can grab that, too. There are washrooms around here, but the only place I can really find to pour water over myself is a fountain. Thankfully it's clean and seemingly not frequented very often, so... [Thomas shrugs, letting go of Swede and glancing down at his sweater in a deflated way. All the ew. He was used to it, but even still. Reaching back for the Swede's hand, Thomas attempts to lead him the rest of the way to his tent.]

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