toplvl | aita?

Sometimes when I'm sent to a certain realm, I'll go and pet the horse there before I find a generator to start. Sometimes I even just ignore 'em to pet him. He just seems so lonely, y'know?

The others with you might think you're an ass for that, but you ain't one to me. [ not in this, at least. ] Makes my job easier if you'd rather play with that horse than do anything useful.

I don't stay pettin' him the entire time.

[But also, she knows, okay!! But Maurice seems so unhappy at the carnival and Kate has a deep seated hatred for the clown.]

Kinda wish we could find some carrots here so I could give him one.

That's assumin' he can still eat. Even if you found one, he might just spit it back into your hands—with a whole lot of blood and slobber to boot.

Blood in my hands doesn't exactly creep me out anymore. [She's held pools of her own by now, after all.] An' the slobber ain't that bad, I think. No worse than a dog.

Suppose not. A dog might eventually learn to keep quiet, though.

[ he's never actually caught a survivor in the act of petting Maurice during a trial, but the horse's whinny never fails to alert him if there's anyone hiding nearby. ]

Maybe, but I don't mind. Reminds me of home. Less rotten horses there, but still horses none the less. Can't wait to go back eventually.

[Maybe she'll be able to take Maurice with her. He'd... definitely need special care, but she's willing. If he'd even survive outside of the Entity's realm, anyhow.]

[ he's got more reason to believe in the possibility of escape now than when he first got here, but Kate's words still make him snort. ]

And when do you figure that'll be?

Don't know. But time's always been irrelevant here, don't you think? All I care to know is that it'll happen. Everything is eventual, after all.

[She doesn't have an answer, but the flicker of hope has never waned in her body that they'll all escape one day.]

Might be faster if we all worked together, though.

Sure. You can sit around and wait for a lot of things to happen. Used to be death would come for you eventually too—but we both know how that is in this place, don't we.

And you'll just be waitin' some more if you think everyone here will help you in whatever plan you've got.

[ if you've got one at all, the scorn in his voice says for him. ]

Could still wait around for death, just wouldn't be as permanent as it usually is.

[His scorn is met with amusement, and she gives a wink.]

Oh, I know even I couldn't get all of us here to work together. That's a fools errand what with the Clown, an' then Ghostface. Some of y'all like it here far too much, frankly. I, personally, would rather escape and eat something with far less teeth and eyes and razor blades in it.

[ he narrows his eyes slightly at that wink. Cheeky girl. ]

Ain't much to escape for, if that's all. [ it's not, he knows. Most of the survivors left people behind when the Entity took them—friends and family who grieve in their absence. He's aware of that now. ] This somethin' you serious about? Or just woolgatherin' to pass the time between trials?

Oh, dead serious, pardon the pun. [And her smile stays, despite the narrowing of his eyes. For however slight it is, it's not unnoticed. Being able to read people is a skill she's always had, but it's been honed hard through her fame.]

I love quite a few of the people here fiercely and dearly, but I know that we all have people waiting for us at home. We all have places we need to be, and those places aren't this.

[ he doesn't smile at the pun. If anything, his expression darkens. ]

Is that right. And are you still countin' Susie among those people you "love"?

[He says that, and his expression is dark.

Not as dark as the ugly feelings in her chest, the ones that she tries to tamp down and hide deep within herself. None at Susie. None at Nancy, and none at him. They're all about herself. At her own fuckups.

Kate gives an amused but bitter sounding huff.]

I do. An' I will always.

[ for a long moment he holds her gaze without speaking. While it's to her credit that she doesn't try to pretend not to know what he's talking about—or deny it—she isn't exactly contrite either. But maybe that's too much to expect from her, considering what she's done. ]

Well, I'm sure that'll be quite a while—or at least till the next time you get drunk. But best you go on and put her out of your mind now like she's already done for you.

[ though he doesn't know that for sure. Still, if Kate's expecting someone whose heart she's broken to still be pining over her, then she's even more reprehensible than he thought. ]

[ Well, she supposes it's only natural that his words sting the way they do. He's wrong in what he says, that she only cares until she's drunk.

Kate's expression hardens, and her shoulders square as she stands taller. He still easily looms over her, but the nasty budding dark feelings swell and swirl in her chest.]

I don't expect her to still love me after what I did. An' you're mistaken if you think so. I hope to hell she finds someone better than me, and I hope they treat her far better than I did. It's no less than she deserves. That bein' said, you're a right damn fool if you think I don't still want the best for her. I know damn well how I've fucked up, an' I don't need the likes of you tellin' me about it or tryin' to make little digs. You're far from the first person who should be preachin' morals, don't you think?

[ he glares down at Kate, a sneer twisting his mouth. At her accusation that he's preaching, he laughs, a sarcastic and humorless sound wholly different from what's heard during his trials. ]

Even if I ever claimed I was, I don't need to be. Sounds like you're already doin' a fine job of shamin' yourself.

[ but it doesn't incline him to relent. There's true repentance, and then there's putting on the pretense of it only when confronted about what you've done. And Caleb's never been much for giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Especially when they haven't proven they deserve it through their actions. ]

You want the best for her? Then you'll let her alone. Or just give up in her trials if she's strugglin' so she don't get punished by that thing up there. Least you can do.

[ after she spent so long cryin' her heart out over you in the saloon, he almost adds before biting it back. On the chance Kate doesn't know about it, there's no sense in revealing Susie's vulnerability to her. She shouldn't get that satisfaction. ]

[ Her jaw sets, lips an angry, thin line as he continues talking about the situation. Everything in her is telling her to reach out, deck him one, or better yet, take a low blow and kick at the leg she knows is braced. Anything to cause him hurt.

She takes a step forward, fists clenched at her side. ]

You think I don't already do that? I get I was a right asshole for what I did. I get that I hurt her in ways I'll never be able to fix. But I ain't going to let that thing dig its claws into her if I have the choice and the chance. I don't even care if she carves me open like a shitty carcass instead of puttin' me on a hook. An' when I do find a way out, I'll be damn certain that her and hers make it out before I do.

[ The last part comes out as an angry snarl, shoulders shaking. ]

So mind your damn business, and stop speakin' of shit you ain't got a clue about. I already know I'm an asshole, thanks.

Edited (Oop phone tags are hard) 2021-03-18 14:03 (UTC)

[ Caleb stays where he is when Kate moves, his ghostly stare not wavering in the slightest. Her clenched fists and shaking shoulders are too familiar to someone with an hair-trigger temper such as himself. She's a fighter—she showed it the first time she somehow managed to throw all of herself about while he hauled her to a hook, making each step for him a struggle no matter how tight his grip was. But does she think she has a chance scrapping with him outside of trials, with none of the Entity's rules keeping her from harm?

His gritted teeth snap apart with an audible shifting of the broken bones in his jaw, as much a warning to her as the low growl of his voice. ]

Then you won't mind if I hold you to those words, will you. This was made my business, girl. If you didn't want to hear anythin' about it, then you should've learned how to bloody control yourself.

[ he could say more. About how much he knows of the meaning of loyalty, the burn of betrayal. But he doesn't feel the need to justify himself to her. ]

I hear you're gettin' her hopes up about you again, next time I won't be just speakin' to you.

I should have. [He's not wrong there. She already knows that, but it doesn't help the burn in her chest, the permanent ache in her heart that nestles in there neatly next to another.]

I ain't afraid of you, though. [Which is neither here nor there. Kate knows her chance is well and truly over, that nothing of what he's saying would ever come to pass. It doesn't stop the wanting, though. The need to make it up, to do anything and everything within her power to just apologize and make it up to Susie.] Whether she chooses to ignore me as much as this place permits, or for some reason offers a second chance, that ain't for you to decide. Only her.

[ not afraid—another mistake, but he doesn't press her on it. She can claim bravery in front of him all she likes. He's not here for himself. ]

I've got faith she'll make the right choice. She ain't as green as you might've thought she was. [ Caleb's scowl deepens. ] Till then, you best watch your step.

Never thought she was to begin with.

[She's smart, sharp as hell, actually. Kate knows this well from their time together, from seeing her before that even, in trials and how she navigated them.

But that's neither here nor there, anymore. Kate's jaw is set tight, looking upwards at him defiantly. Several words burn at the tip of her tongue.]

You be careful now yourself. I hear it's mighty dangerous out there in the Fog.

[ he does smile then—a sharp thing with teeth bared almost in a grimace. Lifting a hand to his hat, he tips it very slightly towards Kate. Any politeness inherent to the gesture, though, gets chased away by the mockery in his tone. ]

Well, thank you kindly, miss. But I'm sure I can handle it. [ with a jerk of his head, he indicates the fog around them. ] Now run along. You can try to get your satisfaction the next time you're in one of my trials.

[ and so will he. It might just be time to burn one of the tokens of the Entity's favor that've been piling up unused. ]

aita?

am i the asshole?

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Kate Denson | Dead By Daylight

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