toplvl | bad rap

Well, I think he’s an asshole, first of all. [Because he is. You asked, Shirabu!] The idea of him singing is...

[He pauses for a minute, looks up to the sky and snorts, then goes back to looking like he doesn’t know whether to be amused or annoyed.] Hilarious? Unsettling.

[He glances back to Shirabu. Is he really laughing right now?]

I’m not sure what to think of you, Shirabu. You’re an interesting guy.

[There are types of disrespect toward Ushijima that Shirabu won't just stand there and tolerate, but they tend to be more like Goshiki's constant displays of disrespect - treating oneself as a direct rival whose abilities match his, insinuating that he can be bested, trying to find excuses for his talent that undermine his hard word and natural gifts. He knows full well that most people grossly misinterpret Ushijima's personality and isn't so blinded by hero worship that he can't see why, so it doesn't bother him in the same way.

Besides, he knows how Ushijima has hounded Seijoh and Oikawa in particular, and... well, as the team's actual setter, it doesn't please him very much either.]

Ushijima-san isn't really as cold or flat as he can seem. That said, he's not a very good singer.

[Scandalous tea spill. And pretty good comedic timing on Shirabu's part, leaving the reveal that long. He, too, has layers like an ogre.]

Interesting, hm. That's not a reputation I tend to get.

Yeah, well. Me neither. [Re: singing well. He tends not to participate much in Aoba Johsai’s karaoke nights, though that doesn’t stop him from belting out some classic American rock music when he’s alone in his car.

[As for Shirabu’s reputation:] I can see that. Maybe people oughta try to get to know you a little better.

Would you let them if they did?

That would depend more on them than on me.

[Shirabu sounds cautious now, not cold. He does have one close friend at Shiratorizawa and a handful from junior high, but if Iwaizumi is asking on behalf of someone like him - or him in particular - that would be different on a number of levels.]

[Not particularly. He just finds it interesting to pick this kid’s brain.]

You think so? How’s that?

Motives for and methods of approach. That sort of thing. I'm not inclined to humour someone just for the sake of politeness if I find their presence unpleasant.

Well, yeah, duh. [Iwaizumi snorts. This kid is so serious. No wonder it would be his impression that he’s a bit standoffish when meeting new people.]

No one wants to hang out with people they don’t like. That’s just stupid. Why waste your time?

I just wonder how quickly you decide you don’t like someone.

Yes, it's obvious, but how many people would call or have called you rude for saying so, never mind acting on it?

[With Iwaizumi's hotheaded temperament, it's considered rude. With Shirabu's chillier variant, it's standoffish.]

Very. I do try to keep my first impression flexible to counteract that - for example, I'm still talking to you.

[Iwaizumi cocks an eyebrow, but he looks more amused than anything.]

Yeah, I noticed that. Makes me wonder what your first impression was.

[Surprisingly enough, Iwaizumi tends to keep his first impression threshold pretty flexible as well. He has a soft spot for plenty of types of people, and he tries to at least get a conversation out of someone before he writes them off completely. That doesn’t mean he’s not afraid to call an asshole when he sees one, and with his aforementioned temperament, those trial conversations don’t always go as smoothly as he’d like.]

To be honest, I drew most of it from your style of play. You had impressive power but I thought your temper made you too impulsive... at least until I saw the state of the team after you and Oikawa had left.

[Compared to His Majesty, Iwaizumi's flare-ups at Oikawa were nothing.]

Since then - I'll admit that the situation is too complicated for me to come to any fair conclusions about you.

[That’s right. Shirabu had said that he’d been a fly on the wall at Kitagawa Daichi, hadn’t he? Iwaizumi can’t deny his initial assessment. He’d had a temper back then, it’s true - true also that it was nothing compared to Kageyama’s transformation once he’d left the poor dummy to fend for himself. That’s a sore spot for Iwaizumi - a big one - and it shows for a moment when his expression shifts into something resembling regret.

[They’d all deserved better, even Kageyama. He still resents that he couldn’t have stopped his former team from falling into ruin only a year earlier. It had been a painful thing to witness.

[As for their current situation being a complicated one, there’s no denying that either. Never did Iwaizumi think he’d find himself having repeated (and interesting) conversations with what should be one of his sworn enemies.

[But Shirabu has depth to him. He’s interesting, a little pitiful in some ways that prod at Iwaizumi’s instinct to protect. He really would have been an asset had he come to Aoba Johsai, but he’s certainly nothing to sneeze at where he is now either.

[It’s odd how much he’s come to respect him.]

Fair enough. What’s your unfair conclusion then? I think I can take it.

[Chances are it will piss him off, or at least it could, but truthfully, he doesn’t really want the conversation to end. Iwaizumi is a smarter and more thoughtful person than people realize. Their interactions have been stimulating thus far. And he wants to know more about this weird kid.]

[Mm. He's not going to like the unfair conclusion because even Shirabu himself isn't entirely comfortable with it. The situation is complicated because every single person involved is complicated.]

You've said before that I have a tendency to hero-worship Ushijima-san, and you're hardly the first or last person to say so. But more than just idolizing him, I also want to understand him, and one thing I've come to understand while playing with him is that he understands emotion more than most people think. He recognizes emotions in others and feels them himself, if maybe less often. What sets him apart and makes others uncomfortable is that he has an almost superhuman ability to filter out all but the most catastrophically intense, and he constantly does so to make himself a more efficient... well, person.

He does have a major blind spot in his empathy, but it's not that he discredits the feelings of others - it's that he doesn't realize other people can't file away those feelings the way he does, and as a result he assumes that a lot of emotional reactions are no more than self-indulgence. In other words, what someone else is feeling may be important and powerful, but all it would take for them to walk away from that unscathed is more self-discipline. I think that's an important difference.

[And that's undoubtedly more than Iwaizumi ever wanted to hear about Ushijima in his life, but Shirabu wanted to preface his unfair conclusion in such detail because he's coming to respect Iwaizumi as well. Just saying it with no explanation would've been needlessly hurtful.]

I bring all that up because knowing that about him, and having heard about the types of interactions you and Oikawa often have with him... while I know he's probably said things to both of you that felt cruel, the two of you still stand out to me as the ones who returned the cruelty deliberately.

[So... yeah. Even Oikawa, who he respected so much in Junior High and still does as a player, just feels too damn mean-spirited for him to like very much and that's extended to Iwaizumi as well.]

Edited 2020-10-08 21:09 (UTC)

[The initial explanation nearly has Iwaizumi rolling his eyes; when Shirabu finishes, however, he’s suddenly thankful that he didn’t.

[The criticism hits him like a brick to the gut. Naturally, his first instinct is to defend himself. After all, it was Ushiwaka that so repeatedly cornered Oikawa, criticized his choices, attempted to undermine his own sense of pride, tried to make him feel less than—- God, even thinking about it makes Iwaizumi’s blood begin to boil, his jaw begin to clench...

[But there’s truth in Shirabu’s statement, and it’s simply undeniable. Iwaizumi would never concede that Ushiwaka had no part to play in their tumultuous relationship - never - but even he and Oikawa had said plainly that the stupid bastard didn’t even realize he was being a jackass half the time.

[Yes, what Shirabu is saying is true, even more so than he realizes. If he were to take every story he’d heard of Oikawa and Iwaizumi openly mocking the hated ace, quadrupling the ridicule wouldn’t even begin to come close to how often they slandered him behind closed doors.

[He’s quiet for a long moment. Many people see Iwaizumi as a bully, and rightfully so; he can be just as cruel as Oikawa when he wants to be. Deep down, the God’s honest truth is, he’d never really want to hurt someone - not once the moment passes, anyway.]

You’re a smart ki—- [He cuts himself off, laughs at himself without an ounce of humor in his voice. He almost looks embarrassed - he feels embarrassed.] You’re a smart guy, Shirabu. And you aren’t wrong.

[That doesn’t mean he’s about to say he’s sorry. He’s not really sure that he is. But he’s not about to act like he doesn’t know what Shirabu is talking about. He’s the one who asked in the first place, after all.

[His eyes flicker back to Shirabu. He’s sure he looks somewhat cold now as he studies him. What is it about this kid that keeps drawing him back?]

I’d be willing a bet a fair bit of people underestimate you.

[Shirabu wouldn't have believed an apology, and would have lost respect for Iwaizumi if he'd tried to placate Shirabu with one - because he's not even angry with them, really. He resents Oikawa's long, long shadow over his high school volleyball career, and he does think Iwaizumi has veered way out of his lane to make Ushijima and Oikawa's issues his own, but he's not hypocritical enough to deny that he's doing the same for Ushijima.

Iwaizumi avoids hypocrisy, avoids defensiveness, avoids outrage and even avoids hollow appeasement just to end the conversation, and Shirabu's respect for him soars to unprecedented levels.]

I admit that I encouraged them to with my own actions. Thankfully, someone managed to talk me out of that approach before I let it destroy my chances of being a good captain.

[Hoo boy, that stare knocked the wind right out of Shirabu's lungs for a second. He's shocked he managed to recover and say something a tiny bit cool in response, because Iwaizumi's still looking at him like that and it's making his skin prickle with apprehension that's not entirely unpleasant.]

Wow. [If that cold stare was enough to make Shirabu’s skin prickle, what will the tiniest hint of a smile do?]

He sounds like an asshole.

[The energy between them certainly does feel electric right now, and surprisingly enough, Iwaizumi stops himself before he can question it.

[Talking to Shirabu - it’s so exciting somehow.]

[A tiny smile from a (seemingly) surly bastard is a powerful thing. Far more powerful than a glare from just about anyone.

In this case, it causes Shirabu's face to heat up so suddenly and so intensely that he feels like a boiler with a broken pressure gauge, one that nobody - not even himself - realized was so close to bursting.

Because oh shit, Iwaizumi's handsome. Just lifting his brows out of their pinched furrow over his nose does a lot for him, but inverting their sharp downward arch the way a genuine smile does? That gives him an entirely new face, one that recontextualizes the usual face as very attractive in its own right. Kind of sexy, even.

Ohhhhhhhh shit.]

[Iwaizumi cocks a brow, looking nothing less than amused now, though the expression isn’t taunting. Is he imagining the blush on Shirabu’s cheeks? It makes his own stomach twist in an unfamiliar way - well, unfamiliar for this guy, anyway.]

Not gonna argue that one, eh? I don’t blame you.

[His lips part with the threat of a laugh (he really does clean up well the wider his smile gets, or so he’s been told on occasion), but before it escapes him he hears an obnoxiously familiar voice down the hallway. He turns his head back over his shoulder as his expression drops back into its usual vague air of irritation. Looks like it’s time to split.

[He turns back to Shirabu one more time before he goes, locking eyes with him again. He’s surprised to find himself savoring that last glance.]

I’ll see you around, Shirabu.

[Even if Shirabu wanted to explain his reaction - even if he could - he snaps out of it far too late. Iwaizumi's already a couple of steps away and Shirabu registers that Oikawa was the one calling him, which means separating asap is the only wise move. All he can do is hope Oikawa didn't catch him gaping at Iwaizumi like that, because to anyone else, the meaning of his look must have been crystal clear.]

Ah - see you.

[Spoken barely above a whisper to Iwaizumi's retreating back.]

bad rap

bad rap

how to play:

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livin' on a prayer is the first song on iwaizumi's driving playlist, y/n

Nailed it in one

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wow this became a novel lmao

NO SUBJECT LINE MAKES ME MORE EXCITED TO READ A TAG THAN THAT ONE!!!

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that's it that's the tag he's speechless

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