aita?

[insertusername]

am i the asshole?

Life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s really at fault, and no one wants to believe they’re the bad guy. Sometimes you need an outside opinion. Or several.

Tell your side of the story and crowdsource an honest answer to the age old question; Am I The Asshole?

Top Level

with your character explaining a situation where they might have been the asshole.

Comment

with your hot takes. Anon or IC.

Comments

[pawper]

I'll give you five yeens [it's "yen", lys] to stop talking about poop.

[dot dot dot]

I can do that, right? That's how that works?

/2

[secare]

( HE CANNOT TAKE THIS. WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS?

he just wants soap without some sort of mystery poop on it! this isn't even a big ask. )

Yato—

[secare]

( but then immediately whirling to face lys. )

Yes. Give him 5 yen and he'll do anything you want.

( he'll literally snatch the yen out of her pockets if she has it to make him shut the fuck up. )

1/2

[goen]

[ His weakness... how could anyone have guessed his weakness?? He is still firmly on Team Poop (Is Stronger Than Toilet Water), but a god has his principles. ]

Grrr... fine! But I'm not throwing away the soap!

[ He clutches Yukine's soap to his chest!! ]

2/2

[goen]

[ And then immediately brightens. ]

... Ooh, if we use the same soap, we'll have matching scents! We'll be closer than ever!

[secare]

Why did you even bring that with you—?!

( what kind of maniac? )

No. You can't touch my soap! That's your soap now!

i wanted to do it too 1/2

[pawper]

I mean, I'd have been happy to keep it if neither of you wanted it...but so long as it doesn't go to waste, I think this is a good compromise!

[how much is 5 yen in fantasy nordic coins...whatever, she'll just hold a jingling handful out and ready to drop into his sweaty palm]

2/2

[pawper]

Actually, I'm surprised you guys think you even need soap. You both smell really good, you know?

[please kill her, whenever y'all are done fighting about soap]

[goen]

[ Yukine's old soap, a handful of coins, AND a compliment?? Jackpot!! ]

Yahoo! Thanks, Lys! At this rate, you'll easily be my number two follower!

[ blocking out yukine's indignation in favor of precious, precious boons apparently ]

[secare]

I'm telling Hiyori.

( that it's this easy to win a rank. )

[pawper]

Ah...you don't gotta do that if it'll make her mad!

[Remember!! The truth is overrated!!]

[goen]

W... Why would it make her mad? She's still my number one follower.

[ He is still convinced that he's RIGHT and done NOTHING WRONG, but the mere threat of telling Hiyori anything potentially deleterious makes him nervous... ]

[pawper]

[A diffident shrug, gaze sliding away as she rubs the back of her neck. Suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she only has a toe in their world, brought to the boundary line by unusual means and given only a small glimpse of what lay beyond.]

Just saying. If she doesn't need to know, she doesn't need to know. Right?

[Why would Hiyori get mad? Lys has no answer save that of her perpetually guilty conscience: if Hiyori did, somehow it'd be Lys' fault.]

[secare]

She should know.

( because just saying. )

She put in all that effort and now you're just giving away the number two slot. Aren't you a little too cheap?

1/2

[goen]

[ If he says it loud enough then maybe it will become true: ]

Number one is number one, and number two is number two! Hiyori will understand!

[ No offense, Lys!! The sad, unspoken truth is that Lys can't even be number three or four or beyond because that would require Yato to have more than two followers. ]

2/2

[goen]

[ Oh. He can't forget to add this bit because it's important. Yato throws his arm around Yukine's shoulders and smiles brightly. ]

And of course, you're follower 0.5!

[secare]

No. Absolutely not.

( outright. he is not follower number anything. he is yato's guidepost, which is a completely different and separate position. )

[pawper]

[She takes a moment to favor them both with a disgustingly bright smile that Anja would have slapped off her face if aimed at her. Ah, they’re such good friends! It’s so obvious, and of course she’s nothing but happy for them.]

Yukine’s more important than a follower, right? So he doesn’t need to be point-five anything. [And we definitely don’t need to tell Hiyori either way, nope.] And I’m fine with being number two! Like, a distant number two. Yato’s not being cheap—I just haven’t put in the same work.

[Unsaid goes the implication that she might yet be stupid enough to try.]