aita?

[insertusername]

am i the asshole?

Life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s really at fault, and no one wants to believe they’re the bad guy. Sometimes you need an outside opinion. Or several.

Tell your side of the story and crowdsource an honest answer to the age old question; Am I The Asshole?

Top Level

with your character explaining a situation where they might have been the asshole.

Comment

with your hot takes. Anon or IC.

Comments

AITA for reorganizing church funds?

[fourteen_six]

My brothers (M42, M44) and I (M32) all run a church together. I was recently put in charge of the treasury. Since then, I've been working to cut excess spending, mostly by reorganizing finances to speed up stalled projects.

For example, we recently purchased an old lodge (complete with private airstrip) and I've been working to speed up repairs. The house itself is going to have space for members to live in, and I want to get it ready as fast as possible. We've had people begging for somewhere to stay for weeks now, and we've got the space, so what's the problem?

Well, the problem is that I decided to take some of my money from the choir, which is my oldest brother's pet project. Now he's going on a rampage about it, telling our other brother that I'm irresponsible and that it was a mistake to give me this responsibility. It's important to note that I've also taken funds from my own side projects! He's hardly the only person sacrificing for the repair efforts.

Because of my dedication, and because I've set aside one of the many rooms for myself, he's convinced that this is a petty vanity project. Obviously, I think he's full of shit and should shut the fuck up about it, but I'm not going to say that to his face. Anyway, AITA?

[havenomercy]

NTA. What choir needs that kind of money?

[fourteen_six]

A sensible takeaway. There have supposedly been moves to produce a quality recording of their efforts, but that's been stalled ever since we left Georgia. And let's face it, as much as I appreciate the music myself, gospel folk isn't likely to return any investment made into it. Not monetarily, anyway.

Also, I only halved his budget. He still has money for juice or whatever "equipment" an acapella choir needs. It's not my fucking problem the army didn't teach him basic accounting.

[havenomercy]

Production costs aren't that much, either. And you're right, you're not going to get your money back from it. Housing the homeless seems to trump that in my eyes.

[fourteen_six]

Considering how much these people have given up, I think it's only fair to offer them an actual decent place to stay. It's either I put in the money and effort to clean up the grounds for our followers, or they continue to live in tents and give our entire project a distinctly unbecoming "shantytown" aesthetic. Next time he comes at me over this, I'm rubbing the altruism in his face.

[havenomercy]

Tents generally don't provide the wanted aesthetic unless you're camping. How many followers do you have?

[fourteen_six]

Well, considering how much Jacob loves roughing it, maybe that's what he's going for. That's fine for him, but over my dead body will I be caught sleeping in a tent.

The numbers fluctuate. We left Georgia to establish our church elsewhere, and not everybody could find it in themselves to make the journey with us. Of course, my brother tends to draw a crowd wherever we wind up, so the flock replenished itself quickly. There are certainly dozens of us. If I were trying to impress, I would count the first hundred heads as the start, but hardly the end of our rapid expansion.

[havenomercy]

Sometimes a tent is all you need. I've done my share in one. And yes, I was camping. Of a sort.

Is your brother the preacher?

[fourteen_six]

I've never been much for the outdoors. But it takes all kinds.

Our middle brother, Joseph, is indeed the preacher. The three of us were separated and lost in every sense of the word until Joseph found and reunited us. Our church is dedicated to uplifting his message and encouraging those moved by his words to join our community, just as Jacob and I did. I was the one who suggested leaving Georgia, but he was the one who knew where we were meant to go next.

[havenomercy]

[Yep, definitely a cult. But she's from the deep south so she knows just how easy that can happen.]

What is his message?

[fourteen_six]

It's one of acceptance. Not just of your worldly self, the one projected into the public eye from every angle, but your spiritual self. We let ourselves be poisoned by sin, weighed down by it, and we're often unable to face it, afraid to see who we really are beneath the perception of others.

Joseph tries to teach others to accept that rotten part of ourselves, to understand it so we can root it out of ourselves. He's seen the worst parts of the world, and he knows just where that path ends. It isn't pretty. Joseph just wants to open people's eyes -- to give them a chance to choose a different path, before it's too late.

[...soooooo yeah, a cult]

[havenomercy]

[Yeah, so, once she might have fallen for this. That time is not now.]

It might not be good for you to be talking to me, then. I'm a big sinner.

[fourteen_six]

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. After all, I'm the one skimming money off my brother's choir group for a nice mattress. It would be hypocritical of me to avoid sinners. And you would have to be an impressively big one to put my soul at risk.

[havenomercy]

Oh, I'm not that impressive. Just a little impressive. Besides, I already belong to a [cult] type of church, not that I want to be.

[fourteen_six]

Oh? Why do you want to leave?

[havenomercy]

Truth be told I'm not really there. I was called to join when I was a little girl, but then I got adopted and moved away. They've been trying ever since to get me back. I'm not interested in what they offer, empowering as it might seem to be.

[fourteen_six]

Of course. Far be it from me to push you into another church's arms, but I wonder what they've offered you to return?

[havenomercy]

A premium position in power within the organization. All my heart's desires, one assumes. They've not actually been entirely specific. But while it's female centric, it's all in service of a man, who may be a God, though that doesn't make him worth it. And it's just not my style.

[fourteen_six]

Ah. I can see why that would be... unappealing. And yet, despite you openly detesting the, they want you in a position of power? Fascinating.

[havenomercy]

They think they can still persuade me.

[fourteen_six]

There's something about you that they must want in their employ very badly if they're willing to put up with so much resistance. [Or she has information that they need, but hey, he can always try to figure that out later.]

[havenomercy]

I think so, too. For the life of me, I can't figure out what it is. I'm not this special.

[fourteen_six]

I've met a great many people in my life, and I've found that the ones who insist they're nothing special tend to be anything but average.

[havenomercy]

Oh, I'm not average. But I'm not that great. I'm replaceable and I know it.

[fourteen_six]

In that case, I'd be worried about what happens when they finally decide to agree with you. The methods I've heard some groups use to deal with their problems can be... extreme.