Entry tags:

meme [gen]

you don't know me

bad rap

The things we become known for aren’t always what we’d like to be known for. Reputations are hard to run from. Sometimes they’re not even deserved. So here’s your chance to set the record straight. Clear up some misplaced assumptions, debunk any rumours about yourself and defy your stereotypes.

how to play:

Top level with something(s) your character is tired of people assuming about them, blaming them for, or pigeonholing them about, etc. Say it in person or over text.

Comment on any surprising, or not so surprising declarations.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Please do. I have friends over and it'd be a dick move to have neon blue and pink lights installed. Switch is over there.

Thanks. ( stepping away briefly, he found the switch in question and flicked it on. there's a sigh of relief at the much more even warm, white light. )

Nice place. ( which conflicted with the lights outside, but it was really well kept, even furnished. bucky's place isn't even furnished. ) Did you pick the furniture? Or?

Foggy helped me. It's all stuff his family was willing to donate, that or something we thrifted. All I asked him for was that it not be eye searing for when I do have people over, otherwise I'd make a suit out of it and haunt him with it.

[He set the keys aside, shrugged out of his jacket and went to hang it up.]

Would you like beer or whiskey?

( foggy. a friend, clearly. a close one. they were actually handsome pieces. not necessarily cheap either, even if thrifted. bucky smiled to himself faintly at the knowledge. it meant he really cared about matt. )

Whiskey, if it's not too much trouble.

( his preferred drink, but more expensive when out. the alcohol didn't hit like it would with a regular human either, of course, but he could still savor the taste, the warmth against his lips. )

Not at all. That's why I offered. I'm glad you have a preference.

[Matt moved past Bucky, hand trailing along his arm as he left, both to touch just to touch and to let him know he was passing. Then he headed into his kitchen to find his alcohol shelf. He had friends who drank a lot, and he'd been known to drown the noise with booze as well. It helped to have a good stock.]

Make yourself at home.

( the way matt moved about his apartment said a lot, a certainty that shared his comfort and familiarity with the space. rather than call his agency into question, bucky decided it best to find a seat on the couch, where he imagined they'd likely be settling. )

Your friends visit a lot?

Not really. Not anymore. Foggy's got himself a girl and between work and his home life, we mostly keep our social interactions to the office and Josie's.

[That was it for friends, Bucky. He and Karen were a little complicated, but they kept it strictly to work and Josie's with Foggy.]

I go see my priest now and then. Confession's good for the soul.

( chuckling, ) A very Catholic thing to say.

How do you reconcile your interest in men, with your faith?

Not all Catholics are homophobic. The way I see it, love is love. Same sex couples exist in multiple species; penguins, swans, dogs. Lots of monogamous and polyamorous species partake in it, so how isn't it a natural thing. Besides, there's no commandment that says thou shall not be gay. The rest of it's up to interpretation.

[He brought two glasses over to the table along with the bottle of whiskey, pouring at the table and leaving the bottle there in case a refill was wanted. He slid the glass carefully in front of Bucky, then took a seat himself.]

The bible has God pissed off more about people eating shellfish than he says anything about lying with another man, and yet shrimp cocktails and lobster bisque are happily gorged on. I think people like to use the bible to promote their own agenda, but only when it means they get to oppress others. The ones who are actually following their faith happily don't gather in mobs to tell people what to do.

( he took a sip from the offered glass. the familiar taste slid across his tongue pleasantly, and bucky hummed with satisfaction. )

People hide behind other's words, when they want to feel justified and are too afraid to say things with their own voice. Propaganda works much the same way.

( no matter who it was for. )

Not that it's what made me leave it behind. But it did nothing for me, after a point. Made me hate myself instead.

Religion's not for everyone. Neither is exploring their sexuality. I'm content being what I am. A bisexual blind Catholic lawyer. There's no point in having free will if everyone's just a cookie cutout of everyone else.

[He picked up his cup and smiled at Bucky, settling on the couch a little more.]

So, what are you and what do you want to be?

( even knowing it wasn't exactly what matt was trying to get him to say, bucky felt it was still more honest to answer: ) I'm a weapon. I want to be useful.

( to matter. )

[Oh, Bucky. Matt's smile was a little sad this time.]

Are you sure it's not 'was a weapon'? You're the one in control again.

I'm in control, sure. Of what the weapon does now.

That's what I do best. I'd be wasting what I have if I don't use it. Anyway, it's for better reasons, now.

Doesn't mean- or doesn't have to mean that's all you are. You're a man. You're a sentient being, Bucky. Not a weapon. You have... skills.

[He felt like he'd had this conversation before. About Black Sky. With Stick and Elektra both.]

Yeah. Skills. Most of which are best used for killing.

( ...which was true, regardless the spin. he wouldn't be using it for that anymore, or course, but those skills were still part of who he was. )

And. Anyway. It's not like. The identity really matters here. If I lean into it at all, the government's just gonna use me as a puppet more. It's easier if I'm nobody.

That's a hard way to look at things. It must make it difficult for you to... be around others.

[It sounded like Bucky did his best not to, which just made Matt all that more insistent that they at least be friends, if nothing else.]

( licking his lips anxiously, his head dipped after a moment. )

Yeah. It. It does.

[He debated on his move, but after a moment, he slid his hand down from Bucky's elbow to his hand, fingers light around the other man's.]

I'm sorry.

( huffing gently, bucky glanced to matt, offering a dry smile he couldn't see. )

Don't be. We don't get to choose our lives.

But we can choose to change the parts we want.

[Subtle nudging there, Bucky.]

Sure, but I can't change what HYDRA made me into.

I'm not sure I believe that.

[Because Matt was one of those people that hoped for the best.]

Steve's the same.

( but steve was gone now. so. )

[New Steve, who dis?]

Maybe he had a point.

bad rap

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