aita?

[insertusername]

am i the asshole?

Life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s really at fault, and no one wants to believe they’re the bad guy. Sometimes you need an outside opinion. Or several.

Tell your side of the story and crowdsource an honest answer to the age old question; Am I The Asshole?

Top Level

with your character explaining a situation where they might have been the asshole.

Comment

with your hot takes. Anon or IC.

Comments

Crowley | Good Omens

[glarefully]

So, I'm pretty sure that I'm the asshole in this situation. But a certain co-worker of mine thinks otherwise, and I'd like to prove them wrong.

I live in central London, busy town, I'm sure you can imagine what the streets are like. Crammed full of people most of the time. Right, so -- sometime back I went around with a pocket full of shiny new pound coins and -- get this, I super glued them to the sidewalks around London.

Sure, not everyone stops to pick up a pound when they see one on the street, but enough people do. Can you imagine the frustration? Thinking you've scored yourself a bit of easy pocket change, only to find it's glued down? Not to mention all the frustrated people behind them, having to take time to move around them.

So, tell me, AITA?

[treefullofmonkeys]

You can ask all the people you like, but you and I both know the truth!

[glarefully]

Oh, don't you start again! Listen, you've got to think of the big picture here. Granted, might not be as sophisticated as that stunt I pulled with the mobile phone networks -- but just imagine all that frustration! It accumulates!

It's absolutely an asshole-level offense.

[treefullofmonkeys]

[EVER SO SNIPPILY] 'Don't start'? 'Don't start'?! Hmph!

If ANYTHING, that kind of minor item would be another orifice of the human body. Perhaps a nostril. Yes, that's it. You're a nostril, Crowley!

[glarefully]

A nostril?! Just because I didn't get a commendation from downstairs over it doesn't mean it wasn't proper demonic activity! Clearly you've never tried to pick up a glued down coin, otherwise, you'd understand what kind of residual negative impact it could have!

[ not that.... crowley........ forgot he glued down one of those coins. and tried to pick it up.

he's just saying. ]

[treefullofmonkeys]

Do you think I'm so petty as to be bothered by something THAT small?!

[Aziraphale is absolutely that petty. The last time the coffee shop gave him only four dollops of cream instead of five with his scones, it was a disaster.]

[Certainly, Crowley. You'd never be that silly.] [/DRIPPING WITH SARCASM]

[glarefully]

That's because you're an angel! Of course you don't care whether you found one pound or a hundred pounds lying about. But you have to think like a human. It's like--

Like someone glued an old book to the sidewalk!

[treefullofmonkeys]

It's only money, after all!

[Aziraphale stops. He stares at Crowley. Then he looks away, frowning, taking a deep breath. He looks back.]

R-really?

One of the better ones?

[malcolmbright]

YTA. As is anyone who inhibits the flow of foot traffic for no good reason.

[glarefully]

YES! Yes, thank you, this is what I'm talking about!

I mean, you'd find it frustrating to say the least, wouldn't you? Put you in a bad mood for at least a few minutes?

[catarmy]

That's fucking funny, actually. LOL

Nice prank. NTA.

[glarefully]

Oi, no one asked you! [ didn't he just do that???? ssshut up. ]

[catarmy]

You literally asked for input for anyone to see. I gave it.

[glarefully]

Yeah, well, your input's wrong! Except for the bit about it being funny. Cause, yes, it was -- but it still makes me an asshole!

[catarmy]

The only person you've been as asshole to is yourself. For wasting money that you could use to buy good food.

[glarefully]

Ughk. Now you're starting to sound like him. Listen, if I wanted to waste money on something like food, I'd have done it. You're clearly not seeing the bigger picture here -- think of how frustrated all those people are!

[hillbillyboy]

... 'assit?

Ain't a asshole, but yous is dum.

[glarefully]

Look, just because you can't understand the subtleties of what kind of effect this would on humans, doesn't mean it doesn't make me an asshole!

[hillbillyboy]

[Wow. Rude.]

I am hooman. I's dum.

Yer stoopid.

[glarefully]

[ rude enough to make him an asshole??? ]

Well that's your problem, innit? Can't see the forest for the trees! Big city like London, people are already high-strung as it is. Add one more little straw on enough camel's backs, and you'll have enough general, low-grade malcontent for me to easily ride off of for weeks at a time. The fact that the paperwork alone gets approved as valid demonic activity should, by default, make me an asshole!

[ he doesn't mention the fact that he sort of kind of lied on the paperwork. the point STILL STANDS, ok?? also, he is really invested in being an asshole. ]

[hillbillyboy]

[Nah, though that might be because everyone else he knows put the bar reeeeal high.]

... Yoo frum London too?

[He doesn't know what London is, and he kind of... tuned out past that, but high-strung people? Sounds familiar.]

[glarefully]

[ honestly, the effort a demon has to go through just to get a bit of recognition.. ]

No, I'm from Hell. [ and there's a devlish grin when he says it ] But work tends to take me to London now and then. [ maybe more often than it should.. ]

[justkind]

That's hilarious, but yes, you're still the asshole.

Not a higher tier, granted.

[glarefully]

Yes! Finally some appreciation for my work. May not be higher tier, but not bad for a day's work.

[lets_wink_brothers]

What's a coin?