aita?

[insertusername]

am i the asshole?

Life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s really at fault, and no one wants to believe they’re the bad guy. Sometimes you need an outside opinion. Or several.

Tell your side of the story and crowdsource an honest answer to the age old question; Am I The Asshole?

Top Level

with your character explaining a situation where they might have been the asshole.

Comment

with your hot takes. Anon or IC.

Comments

[pawper]

[i will pay you 5 yen to never sweat in my presence again]

Did you wash it off before putting it back?

[goen]

Of course! I ran it under some water. It's soap, so it's clean no matter what! But if I told him about it, he'd just get mad, see?

[ So he's on your side, Lys! ☆ ]

[secare]

I'm right here.

( you dumb bastard. )

[goen]

[ SWEAT GLANDS ARE ENGAGED ]

What's that? You want your master's attention? I understand, but we should really focus on Lys...

[pawper]

[so this is how hiyori feels...]

I was gonna say "I won't tell him either, then" but... [since that cat is permanently out of the bag] I can just get you guys more soap, right? So it's fine!

[secare]

( ignoring yato. )

You should buy me more soap. He can keep the toilet soaked one.

( because the likelihood of yato replacing the soap is real low. )

[goen]

[ ??? ]

Why do we need new soap? Like I said, soap is always clean, no matter what.

[pawper]

...new soap it is!

[this is why she has no money and has to eat out of a dumpster]

[secare]

( how much soap are you buying, lys?? do you think more soap can fix yato?

no amount of soap can fix yato. )

Thank you. That good-for-nothing wasn't going to replace it.

[goen]

[ he has no money and has to eat out of a dumpster and that's why he's like this ]

What the hell? ... When you get poop on your hands, you use soap to get clean. You don't throw the soap away because of it. You think toilet water is more powerful than pure poop?

[pawper]

I'll give you five yeens [it's "yen", lys] to stop talking about poop.

[dot dot dot]

I can do that, right? That's how that works?

/2

[secare]

( HE CANNOT TAKE THIS. WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS?

he just wants soap without some sort of mystery poop on it! this isn't even a big ask. )

Yato—

[secare]

( but then immediately whirling to face lys. )

Yes. Give him 5 yen and he'll do anything you want.

( he'll literally snatch the yen out of her pockets if she has it to make him shut the fuck up. )

1/2

[goen]

[ His weakness... how could anyone have guessed his weakness?? He is still firmly on Team Poop (Is Stronger Than Toilet Water), but a god has his principles. ]

Grrr... fine! But I'm not throwing away the soap!

[ He clutches Yukine's soap to his chest!! ]

2/2

[goen]

[ And then immediately brightens. ]

... Ooh, if we use the same soap, we'll have matching scents! We'll be closer than ever!

[secare]

Why did you even bring that with you—?!

( what kind of maniac? )

No. You can't touch my soap! That's your soap now!

i wanted to do it too 1/2

[pawper]

I mean, I'd have been happy to keep it if neither of you wanted it...but so long as it doesn't go to waste, I think this is a good compromise!

[how much is 5 yen in fantasy nordic coins...whatever, she'll just hold a jingling handful out and ready to drop into his sweaty palm]

2/2

[pawper]

Actually, I'm surprised you guys think you even need soap. You both smell really good, you know?

[please kill her, whenever y'all are done fighting about soap]

[goen]

[ Yukine's old soap, a handful of coins, AND a compliment?? Jackpot!! ]

Yahoo! Thanks, Lys! At this rate, you'll easily be my number two follower!

[ blocking out yukine's indignation in favor of precious, precious boons apparently ]

[secare]

I'm telling Hiyori.

( that it's this easy to win a rank. )

[pawper]

Ah...you don't gotta do that if it'll make her mad!

[Remember!! The truth is overrated!!]

[goen]

W... Why would it make her mad? She's still my number one follower.

[ He is still convinced that he's RIGHT and done NOTHING WRONG, but the mere threat of telling Hiyori anything potentially deleterious makes him nervous... ]

[pawper]

[A diffident shrug, gaze sliding away as she rubs the back of her neck. Suddenly self-conscious of the fact that she only has a toe in their world, brought to the boundary line by unusual means and given only a small glimpse of what lay beyond.]

Just saying. If she doesn't need to know, she doesn't need to know. Right?

[Why would Hiyori get mad? Lys has no answer save that of her perpetually guilty conscience: if Hiyori did, somehow it'd be Lys' fault.]

[secare]

She should know.

( because just saying. )

She put in all that effort and now you're just giving away the number two slot. Aren't you a little too cheap?

1/2

[goen]

[ If he says it loud enough then maybe it will become true: ]

Number one is number one, and number two is number two! Hiyori will understand!

[ No offense, Lys!! The sad, unspoken truth is that Lys can't even be number three or four or beyond because that would require Yato to have more than two followers. ]