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would you rather. but sexy

You know how the game works. Now do it with dirty questions. Give us your strangest, or funniest, or sexiest, or stupidest, risqué-est “would you rather…” questions and see what kind of sexy things you learn about someone.

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with a sexy would you rather question. There are lists to give you ideas if you want.

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with your answers.

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Would you rather burp every time you kiss someone or orgasm every time you kiss someone (even on the cheek)?

Definitely the latter.

Burping is really, really un-sexy. And, like, how often are people kissing you, anyway? Doesn't seem like it'd be much of a real-world problem unless you've got really kissy co-workers.

Like a full on fucking orgasm? Jizz in your pants kinda shit?

If you're with someone, dude. There's gonna be cheek kissing all the fucking time.

[ come on, Eddie. you know he's an undercover sap. ]

Like the song? Yeah, I’ve got the visual.

Well, yeah, but if you’re with someone, you can at least tell them your deal. Like, ‘Babe, keep the kisses behind closed doors. PDA is a terrible idea.’

And if they’re cool, they’ll respect it.

What song?

You really think someone would wanna be with you if you creamed yourself for every kiss?

Would YOU be cool with that??

Jizz In My Pants by Lonely Island. It’s pretty fitting, considering.

If I really liked them? Yeah, I’d be cool with it. We’d just have to get creative, y’know?

You're gonna have to sing it for me, man.

Creative how?

Don’t tempt me. Pretty sure I memorized the whole thing in college.

And creative like finding other things to do instead of kissing. I dated an alien; I’m pretty confident I could make life with Sir Jizzes-Over-Kisses-A-Lot work.

So let's fucking hear it!

Yeah I wanna hear it. Like what would you do.

So not gonna happen. Maybe after six beers and/or you appropriately jizz in your pants, I’ll bust it out.

There’s other ways to be affectionate. Hugs, pokes, that thing with the eyelashes like butterflies do. Not sure if blowing them a kiss would count as a loophole, but there’s an option, too.

Hey man, I'll never say no to beers.

If you tried to poke me instead of kissing me I'd punch you in the face.

Ewww!

Hey man, I didn't make the rules.

I'm fairly certain you did by asking the question. You could have offered less gross alternatives.

Then it wouldn't be much of a challenge, yo. That's the whole fucking point.

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